Want Higher Conversion on Collection Pages? Trim the Copy Above the Fold
✂️ If You Shorten the Category Description, Your Customers Will Find and Buy Products Faster
Many eCommerce PLPs (Product Listing Pages) include long, wordy category descriptions that push actual products below the fold, especially on mobile. That’s not ideal when users are trying to shop, not read.
We found that simply reworking and shortening the category description at the top of collection pages made products more immediately visible and led to a meaningful uplift in conversions, particularly on mobile.
🧪 What Happens When You Do This?
When you improve visual hierarchy and reduce copy above the fold, you can expect:
| Metric | Original Version | Optimized Version | Uplift |
|---|---|---|---|
| Purchase Conversion Rate (All) | 3.96% | 4.37% | +10.22% |
| Mobile Conversion Rate | 3.61% | 4.21% | +16.59% |
| Revenue per Visitor (Mobile) | $6.65 | $7.79 | +17.13% |
| Product Page Views (Mobile) | 77.26% | 78.20% | +1.23% |
📈 With a 96% probability of outperforming the control in conversion rate, this test proved that small tweaks in content hierarchy have a big impact.
📱 Why This Works
✅ Improved Product Visibility
Shortening the description pulled product cards higher on the page, letting users engage with actual items sooner.
✅ Reduced Cognitive Load
Users didn’t need to scroll through long paragraphs to get to the shopping experience. This was especially helpful for mobile users.
✅ Stronger Scannability
Variation 2 used clear, benefit-focused sentences instead of dense text, which helped users understand the offering at a glance.
🔁 Want to Take It Further?
- Apply the same trimmed layout to homepage modules and product pages
- Test image + icon pairings alongside short copy to reinforce benefits visually
📚 Related Reading: NNG: Scannability in Web Copy
🧠 Summary
If you want your collection pages to convert better, don’t bury your products under paragraphs of copy. Let users shop, don’t make them scroll.
Takeaway: Users come to your collection pages to browse, not to read. Give them access to products fast and they’ll reward you with conversions.
📣 Ready for a Simpler Path to More Sales?
We boosted mobile conversion by 16.59% and increased revenue per visitor by 17% with just one copy update. Want similar wins on your site?
👉 Let’s talk CRO. Your next uplift might be hiding behind a wall of text.